Today, I hurt.
I’ve been talking about this pandemic for well over a month. My friend list is dwindling, and there are several people I don’t plan on catching up with when this pandemic is over—and now entire communities.
America’s privilege is showing, in a terrible way. Rural areas that have been luckily unaffected are casting aside the concern and death that is plaguing urban areas like New York. In Lansing, an ambulance was prevented from making it to the hospital (and none of us know who was in that ambulance or why) all because of Operation Gridlock. Instead of staying home to show any amount of solidarity with those that are losing their lives, people took it upon themselves to actively prevent someone from receiving emergency medical care. Instead of innovating ways to promote their business and start thinking about a NEW normal, they possibly caused a covid-related death for someone that may not even have covid.
My college town is asking for small businesses to reopen–with a covid death rate of 1 in 15 while the state has a death rate of 1 in 21. That means the community isn’t doing as well as the rest of the state and continues to put its selfish needs before the lives of anyone needing medical care and anyone providing it. Meanwhile, people going nowhere are still getting the virus because people are BRINGING it to them (those in nursing homes).
I am so tired. I’m tired of watching people beg to return to “normalcy”. I miss perpetually making travel plans. I want my kid back at daycare to see her friends and teachers and romp around at the park/playground. I want to see my parents. I’m tired of WebEx meetings. I’m privileged to miss all of this.
I’m over:
-everyone thinking this will magically disappear while case numbers and deaths continue to rise
-my friends’, my family’s, and my own life not meaning anything to people.
-acting like they are the only ones hurting because their business is closed.
-the entire anti-medicine establishment.
-anti-vaxxers using this as propaganda.
-“friends” sharing conspiracy theories and total bullshit.
-thinking every doctor and nurse in America got together and thought “let’s shut down the economy by begging people to stay home”.
-healthcare worker memorials, there are a handful EVERYDAY. I’m tired of losing colleagues.
-losing young people, the elderly, losing a disproportionate amount of African Americans.
-knowing people are losing their health insurance when they need it the most.
-blocking people on Instagram, unfollowing people on Facebook, and marking people off my list of “friends”.
-our lack of knowledge about this virus.
-wondering what it will be like when we DO re-open society.
-thinking less and less people will comply each time we may have to “shelter-in-place” in the future.
-personal freedoms being more important than a healthy society that can live free together.
-worrying what the rebound effect of finally being able to do elective procedures will do to hospitals.
-the concern for what my favorite sport will do to the census in our hospitals.
-explaining that this is NOTHING like the flu.
-explaining of epidemiology and science.
-mixed signals from the federal government, the state government, and even hospital administrators.
-constant changes in PPE protocols due to an ongoing shortage.
-anyone not taking it seriously.